The lyrics of "That Particular Time" by Alanis Morissette describe a period in a relationship where the narrator's foundation was shaken, causing them to consider leaving. However, they also express a desire to save the relationship and provide what their partner wants while neglecting their own needs. Ultimately, they decide to leave, even though it is a difficult choice.

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Meaning of "That Particular Time" by Alanis Morissette


The deeper meaning of "That Particular Time" revolves around the theme of self-preservation and the importance of knowing one's worth in a relationship. The narrator's foundation being rocked signifies a significant event or realization that caused them to question their commitment and consider leaving. The line "My try and true way to deal was to vanish" suggests that their instinct when faced with difficulties in the relationship was to retreat and disappear.

The narrator's departures being old indicates a pattern of leaving or running away from problems in the past, highlighting a lack of emotional resilience or confrontation skills. However, at this particular time, something is different. Love challenges the narrator to stay and the experience of shaking in their boots shows the vulnerability and fear they feel.

The decision to take a break for four months reflects a desire for clarity and resolution of doubts within the relationship. The narrator's acknowledgement that love encouraged them to wait and be patient demonstrates their willingness to work on the relationship and understand the meaning of "us." However, despite their efforts, the doubts and ambivalence persist, leading to a loss of themselves in the process.

The lyrics also reveal a theme of sacrifice and neglect of one's own needs for the sake of saving the relationship. The narrator wants what their partner wants and is willing to go through high water or hell to save it. They ignore the ambivalence their partner feels and become so focused on trying to please them that they lose sight of their own identity and well-being.

In the end, the narrator realizes the importance of self-preservation and decides to leave, even though it is a difficult choice. They recognize that staying with their partner would mean deserting themselves. This decision highlights the importance of valuing oneself and making choices that prioritize personal growth and happiness.

Overall, "That Particular Time" explores the complexities of relationships, the struggle between sacrifice and self-preservation, and the importance of understanding one's worth and needs in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.