Meaning of "Rickets" by Deftones

"Rickets" explores themes of self-reflection, self-criticism, and indifference to external judgment. The lyrics suggest that the narrator is aware of their own shortcomings and excessive behaviors, but their self-awareness does not necessarily lead to a desire for change. They acknowledge doing things wrong and being excessive in various aspects of their life, such as overthinking, feeding too much (possibly a reference to substance abuse), being absent too often, and exhibiting negative emotional tendencies. However, the narrator is not interested in listening to others' criticisms or taking them to heart. They express a lack of concern for others' opinions, emphasizing their nonchalant attitude by repeating the phrase "but I don't even care" throughout the song. The repetition of the line "And if it was mine to say, I wouldn't speak" suggests a resignation to their flaws and demonstrates a reluctance to express their true thoughts and feelings. This might imply a sense of detachment or disengagement from others, as if the narrator has accepted their flaws as an inherent part of themselves. Overall, "Rickets" portrays a complex emotional state where the narrator acknowledges their flaws but chooses not to address or change them, showcasing a sense of defiance and indifference towards societal expectations and judgments.