Meaning of "Returning the Smile You Have Had From the Start" by Emery

The lyrics of "Returning the Smile You Have Had From the Start" delve into the theme of pain, loss, and mortality. The artist contemplates the value of the suffering they have endured alongside their loved one. They express a desire to comprehend the reasons behind their loved one's fate and to justify the pain they have experienced. The comparison between a pencil and a pen symbolizes the permanence of the memories of their loved one. Through the act of writing, the artist immortalizes their bond and refuses to erase the story, accepting both the beauty and tragedy it brings.

The mention of fluid in the lungs and the medicine that can fix but also takes the loved one further away from consciousness highlights the desperation and powerlessness that comes with facing impending death. The artist experiences a profound sense of grief and helplessness, reflected in the action of weeping. They express their unwillingness to let go and the difficulty they face in accepting the inevitability of their loved one's passing.

The repeated lines, "Something beautiful, something torn from my hands" emphasize the bittersweet nature of the relationship. It hints at the profound impact their loved one had on their life, but also the pain of losing them. The artist yearns for more time and expresses that they are not ready for their loved one to die.

The final verse revisits the question of whether the pain they have endured was worth it. It suggests that by subtracting one life, they seek to understand the reason behind the suffering. It portrays a struggle to make sense of the situation and find some form of justification.

Overall, the song explores the complex emotions surrounding grief, loss, and the search for meaning in the face of imminent mortality. It delves into the deep bond between the artist and their loved one, capturing the mixture of love, pain, and longing that comes with the inevitability of death.