Meaning of "When I'm With Him" by Empress Of

"When I'm With Him" delves into the complex emotions and struggles one can experience in a romantic relationship. The lyrics convey a sense of detachment and discontentment within the protagonist's partnership. The opening lines of feeling lost and drained like a desert rain suggest a lack of fulfillment and emotional nourishment. They have attempted to fight for the relationship, but cannot deny the truth that they no longer feel the same.

The protagonist feels possessed, unable to express their true thoughts and emotions. They lay in bed, replaying the past when things were better, highlighting their longing for the initial excitement and connection they had shared. The repeated plea for "one of that" and "one of it" shows their desire for something indescribable, something that would bring back the passion and love they once had.

However, the protagonist becomes more introspective, acknowledging their own role in the deteriorating relationship. They recognize that they have been giving their partner more than they could ever be, and as a result, they begin to distance themselves. The partner is oblivious to this shift, further emphasizing the protagonist's feeling of being an outsider. They feel possessed and repressed, ignoring the signs that indicate they are not fine.

The chorus captures the essence of the protagonist's struggle. They feel like they are pretending to love, engaging in a performance when they are with their partner. They have lost touch with their true emotions and instead substitute it with a façade. They feel like they are sleepwalking, unaware of the reasons behind their actions. The line "on the outside looking in" represents their detachment and inability to fully engage emotionally.

In the final verse, the protagonist admits that playing the part has become too difficult. They have awakened to the harsh reality that it is too late to communicate their true feelings to their partner. The repetition of feeling like an outsider emphasizes their ongoing disconnect and emotional distance. The song concludes on a somber note, underscoring the protagonist's lingering feelings of being alone even when physically present.

Overall, "When I'm With Him" tackles the themes of disconnection, emotional repression, and the struggle to maintain intimacy. It explores the complexities of relationships and the toll it can take on one's emotional well-being when authenticity is lost.