Meaning of "Numen" by Guano Apes

The song "Numen" delves into themes of self-discovery, betrayal, addiction, and emotional vulnerability. The speaker reflects on the struggle to understand their own existence and the motives of those around them. They express a sense of disappointment in the people who were meant to protect them, feeling deceived and abandoned. The reference to trying to get sober and be warmer but feeling cold highlights the personal battles the speaker is fighting, both internally and externally. The desire to experience heaven and connection through music signifies a longing for transcendence and genuine human connections. The repeated emphasis on not telling them when it's over suggests a resistance to accepting defeat or giving up, despite the challenges faced. The fear of flying and loving could represent a fear of taking risks or opening up to others, further highlighting the vulnerability and struggle for emotional authenticity.