The speaker reflects on their own perceived appeal and the facade they maintain by holding a cigarette without smoking it. They reminisce about spending nights listening to The National with someone in a small car, discussing the songs about death. The lyrics hint at a yearning for connection and a desire to see the other person.

Meaning of "National" by James Vincent McMorrow

The opening lines suggest that the speaker may be insecure about their true self and feels the need to present a more interesting facade. Holding onto the unlit cigarette symbolizes a desire to appear edgy or mysterious without actually engaging in harmful behavior. The reference to listening to The National, a band known for its introspective and melancholic music, further underscores a sense of longing and introspection within the speaker. The discussion about songs revolving around death could represent a shared acknowledgement of mortality and the ephemeral nature of life. The repeated plea to "live with me" and the admission of needing to see the other person implies a deep longing for connection and intimacy, possibly fueled by a fear of being alone or confronting one's own mortality. The list of emotions and traits at the end, such as "erratic emotion" and "chronic impatience," may reflect the internal struggles and complexities of the speaker's emotional state.