Meaning of "The Chokin' Kind" by Joss Stone

"The Chokin' Kind" is a soulful ballad that delves into the complex dynamics of a toxic relationship characterized by possessiveness and control. The song opens with the singer expressing her intention to love her partner, but questions whether he understands her feelings. She wonders why he couldn't be satisfied with the love she gave and proceeds to express her discomfort with his overwhelming demand for her mind, not just her heart. By labeling his love as the "chokin' kind," she reveals the suffocating nature of his affection.

The lyrics then take a darker turn as the singer suggests that her lover could physically harm her, metaphorically referring to the power he holds over her emotions. She acknowledges his ability to cause pain through actions such as poisoning or tearing down her pride, emphasizing the damaging impact he has on her life. The repetitive refrain of "it's a shame, it's a shame" highlights the regret she feels for allowing herself to be entangled in such a distressing relationship.

Despite her fear and vulnerability, the singer offers a piece of advice to anyone falling in love, encouraging them to choose wisely. She suggests that if one doesn't like the "peach," they should walk on by the "tree," indicating that it's better to avoid a harmful relationship altogether. She urges her lover to find what he wants and treat it with kindness, emphasizing the importance of allowing love to breathe and grow freely. Ultimately, she pleads with him not to break her heart and acknowledges that his love, though genuine, terrifies her.

The lyrics of "The Chokin' Kind" highlight the toxic nature of possessive love and the fear it instills in the recipient. The song serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of becoming entangled in a suffocating relationship. It explores themes of control, vulnerability, and the importance of maintaining personal autonomy and boundaries within a romantic partnership.