Meaning of "Not Loving You" by Mary J. Blige

The lyrics of "Not Loving You" by Mary J. Blige convey the frustration and helplessness of trying to support someone who lacks self-love. The speaker is witnessing a person they care about fall into a cycle of self-deprecation and misery, yet despite their efforts to intervene and offer love and support, the person continues to reject themselves. The repeated question of "What you gonna do now?" highlights the urgency of the situation and the desperation of the speaker to see a positive change. The burden of watching someone they love refuse to embrace self-love weighs heavily on the heart of the speaker, emphasizing the emotional toll of trying to save someone who does not want to be saved. The lyrics ultimately capture the painful truth that, no matter how much love and support the speaker offers, true change can only come from within when the person learns to love themselves.