Meaning of "Autopilot" by Quinn XCII

"Autopilot" delves into the experience of feeling trapped in a state of fear and confusion. The line "Dear fear, I have met you" suggests a confrontation with one's own fears, perhaps those that arise when alone in the bedroom. The mention of Neptune and open windows represents a desire for escape and a need to breathe again. However, there is a recognition that the situation is not holy or pure. The protagonist seeks comfort from someone, pleading for them to hold them until they "turn back to the old me," implying a longing to return to a previous state of clarity and peace.

The lyrics also touch on the feeling of being stuck in a cycle, as if living in an episode of "Black Mirror" for the past five years. This suggests a sense of disillusionment and disorientation. The repetition of the line "Why's my mind on autopilot all the time?" highlights a feeling of being disconnected from oneself and the world, as if going through life on autopilot, lacking control or intentionality. The mention of a grey window pane and the inability to find one single word to define their feelings further emphasizes this sense of confusion and loss of clarity.

The song reflects a struggle for sanity and reason, longing for freedom from the grip of these emotions. There is a recognition that the obstacles preventing this freedom cannot be blamed on external factors like the seasons or weather. The repeated question of "when can I leave?" implies a yearning for escape from this mental state.

Ultimately, "Autopilot" explores the emotional turmoil caused by fear and confusion, the longing to break free from it, and the struggle to articulate and define these complex feelings.