Meaning of "I Never Wanted To" by Saosin

The lyrics of "I Never Wanted To" delve into the complexities of a toxic relationship and the unwillingness to heal from the pain it brings. The opening lines suggest a repetitive cycle, with the protagonist continuously trying to mend wounds that never seem to heal. The line "I'll tear in two and never lie to you" suggests a willingness to be vulnerable and open, but it is met with rejection in the form of not being taken home. The lack of clarity in the other person's eyes emphasizes their own inability to confront and face the issues at hand.

The chorus, "I never wanted to heal, we are the only ones we are running from," reflects a reluctance to confront or address the problems within the relationship. By avoiding healing, they choose to continue running away from their issues, causing them to remain trapped and stagnant. The repetition of this line emphasizes the protagonist's stubbornness and resistance to growth.

The verse explores a coping mechanism where they make believe that everything is alright, as if denial is the only way to maintain stability and sanity. The reference to the sun being "two steps too close with his waking eyes" paints a vivid image of feeling overwhelmed and suffocated by reality, yearning for a sense of escape. It becomes evident that the protagonist never truly listens to the other person, perhaps reflecting their own disconnectedness or lack of effort to understand their partner's needs and desires.

The bridge, "I want to break it off, where's your song 'cause there's nothing going on," suggests a desire to end the relationship and a frustration with the lack of progress or communication from the other person. The repeated line "I never wanted to hear all the things that you told me" further illustrates the protagonist's resistance to acknowledging the truth or accepting responsibility for the state of the relationship.

In essence, "I Never Wanted To" portrays a dysfunctional relationship where both parties are unwilling to face their issues, resulting in a continuous cycle of pain and avoidance. It explores the concept of running away from oneself and the consequences of refusing to heal or grow.