Meaning of "Penance" by Soen

The lyrics of "Penance" delve into the theme of internal struggles and the consequences of self-deception. The protagonist is portrayed as isolated and trying to assert their independence, yet they are naive and numb. They feed the metaphorical leech of their own inner demons, which ultimately drains them of their vitality and well-being.

The use of the image of wearing indifference as a cover suggests that the protagonist is trying to appear unaffected by their struggles. They build walls and fill up the glass, using these physical and metaphorical barriers to bury their cries for help and mask their pain. However, this facade only serves to further deceive themselves, as they become trapped in a cycle of self-deception.

The lyrics hint at the idea that the protagonist's struggles have been self-inflicted, suggesting that their inner demons have been fed by their own hand. This could signify their own choices and actions that have contributed to their current state. The shaded veils that hide their perception represent a distorted view of reality, further perpetuating their cycle of self-deception.

Despite their attempts to escape and find peace, the lyrics suggest that the protagonist can only find solace in their dreams. The dream becomes a temporary sanctuary where they can separate themselves from the pain and fears of reality. They long for awakening without fear, hoping that their thoughts and entire being will be free from the burdens that keep them trapped.

The second verse continues the exploration of the protagonist's struggles and the consequences of their actions. They are submerged in draining silence, symbolizing the loss of vitality and the feeling of being detached from the world. The debts and broken vows are fragments of their past, representing the consequences of their choices and actions that have led to their current state.

The moonlight shining upon the protagonist staggering out in the cold further emphasizes their isolation and desperation. They attempt to leave their journey, forcing their loved ones to witness their pain and struggles. The shooting nails represent the self-inflicted harm and torment they endure, further deepening their internal conflict.

The repetition of the chorus highlights the ongoing struggle to find peace. The protagonist's mind, soul, heart, and thoughts are all yearning for peace and freedom. The lyrics convey a sense of hopelessness and dissolution, as the speaker witnesses their hopes dissolving.