Meaning of "Of Matter - Proxy" by TesseracT

The lyrics of "Of Matter - Proxy" delve into the concept of being a substitute or proxy for someone else, embodying an archetype that others long for. The speaker sees themselves as a vessel for the desires and aspirations of others, symbolizing their own individuality and uniqueness. They undertake the task of overcoming their imperfections, as suggested by the line "I'm stronger than I was before, thus you reinforce these walls." This can be interpreted as the speaker feeling pressured to conform to the expectations and ideals of others, ultimately leading to a sense of entrapment and inability to fight against these external forces. The mention of an open door and the speaker's fear of it represents the fear of change and opportunities that may disrupt the perceived stability of their role as a surrogate.

The lyrics also allude to a sense of regret and longing for a different path, as expressed in lines like "The day is done. Nothing left to say. Resting head in hands. Wishing I had known my place." The speaker acknowledges their own foolishness in pursuing their own desires and ambitions rather than adhering to their designated role as a surrogate. However, they also recognize that their purpose is not to reprimand or deny others their desires, but rather to assist them on their journey.

The references to darkness and the shattered self-esteem suggest a struggle with identity and self-worth. The speaker contemplates whether the life they are living is just a facade or if there is some underlying truth hidden beneath the surface. Living in this secret through a dream signifies a disconnection from reality and a constant search for validation and acceptance. The gathering of broken shards of self-esteem implies the attempt to piece together a sense of self from the fragments that remain.

Overall, "Of Matter - Proxy" explores the complex emotions and experiences of being a surrogate or stand-in for others, from the pressure to conform to others' expectations to the longing for self-fulfillment and identity in the face of constant role-playing.