Meaning of "First Heartbreak" by Tori Kelly

"First Heartbreak" delves into the vulnerability and fear that arise when experiencing love for the first time. Tori Kelly opens up about her tendency to avoid love and emotion, emphasizing how she never sang love songs, engaged in poetry, or shed tears during movies. These acts of emotional avoidance were likely a defense mechanism to protect herself from the pain of heartbreak. However, she acknowledges that something has changed within her since meeting this person, and she can no longer suppress her emotions. The lyrics suggest that falling in love has caused a shift in her mindset, leading her to open up and confront her fear of being hurt.

By admitting that she worries about this person leaving her, Tori Kelly reveals her deep attachment and emotional investment. The fear of heartbreak keeps her up at night, highlighting the magnitude of her feelings. The lyrics indicate that her fear is rooted in the possibility of making mistakes, implying that she sees this relationship as one of significance and wants to ensure its success. This fear reflects her genuine love for this person, as she values their presence in her life to an extent that she never did before.

The second verse demonstrates the ongoing struggle between living in the present moment and overthinking the future. Tori Kelly recognizes that perhaps she shouldn't be thinking so far ahead and that she should appreciate the present, finding happiness in what she has now. However, the fear of losing this person lingers in her mind and makes it challenging to escape her thoughts. This internal battle showcases the complexity of emotions that arise from love, as she desires to live in the moment while also seeking security and assurance in the relationship.

The chorus repeats the sentiments of worry and fear, emphasizing their significance in Tori Kelly's emotional journey. The line "I wanna run, I wanna stay" signifies the conflicting desires of wanting to let go and hold on tightly. She is torn between the fear of suffocating this person with her love and the fear of not loving enough. This internal tug-of-war showcases her uncertainty and the difficulty of finding the right balance in a relationship.

Overall, "First Heartbreak" explores the themes of vulnerability, fear, and the internal struggle of falling in love for the first time. Tori Kelly's candid lyrics capture the complexity of emotions that come with opening up to someone and fear of potential heartbreak.