Meaning of "I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up for Christmas" by Aimee Mann

The lyrics of "I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up for Christmas" by Aimee Mann delve into the internal conflict and struggles of someone dealing with addiction. The narrator expresses a desire to make a change, symbolized by the idea of cleaning up for Christmas, a time associated with renewal and new beginnings. However, they also acknowledge their past failures and the impact their addiction has had on those around them, particularly a loved one who has witnessed their moral decay. The reference to being a "fucker trying to get in the business of the prodigal son" suggests a sense of unworthiness and an inability to live up to expectations or compete with others. The repeated refrain of being "done" conveys a sense of hopelessness and resignation, as the narrator feels trapped in a cycle they cannot break free from. Despite their self-awareness and desire for change, they struggle to overcome their addiction and ultimately come to terms with the fact that it may be over for them.